The tyranny of the 'shoulds'

The Idea

We collect “shoulds” like lint. “I should be exercising more.” “I should be networking.” “I should read that book.” These are often not our own desires, but echoes of external expectations, social norms, or past versions of ourselves. They accumulate, creating a dense fog that obscures what we genuinely value. Each unfulfilled “should” saps mental energy and chips away at our sense of agency. Clarity isn’t just about identifying what you do want; it’s crucially about consciously discarding the burdens of what you feel you should want, but don’t. It’s the disciplined act of distinguishing genuine aspiration from societal noise.

One Question

What is one “should” you are carrying today that isn’t truly yours?

Today’s Action

1. Take five minutes to list every “should” that comes to mind regarding your work, health, or relationships.
2. For each item, ask: “Who told me this?” or “Is this truly my goal, or an echo?”
3. Cross out one “should” that feels most alien to your authentic self and notice the slight lift it brings.

Go Deeper

Unburdening yourself from false obligations creates space. It’s in that cleared space that true priorities, the ones that genuinely light you up, finally have room to breathe and reveal themselves.